Traci wanted to get guy back. She wasn’t in a good position to do so however. She had accused her ex, Cory, of flirting with her best friend. Traci knew that Cory was just being friendly, but she was having a bad day and she took it out on Cory.

Now Traci is contrite and she wants to get guy back. Unfortunately, the guy doesn’t want to be gotten back. He wants nothing further to do with Traci. What’s a girl to do?

First of all, Traci needs to apologize. This needs to be a sincere apology. If he doesn’t want to listen to her, she should write a note.

There are three components to a genuine apology. First of all, there is a recognition that what she did was wrong. Then, there is an introspection as to why she did it. Finally, there is a commitment to not do it again.

For instance, Traci needs to say “Brian, I was wrong to accuse you of flirting with Sandy. I was feeling insecure for a number of reasons that had nothing to do with you and I snapped. I realize that I hurt you badly and I’m sorry. In the future, I will be careful not to lash out at you when I’m feeling crummy about myself.”

Next, she needs to sit back and allow Brian to process what she’s said. This may just take a few minutes or it could take days. If he’s not initially receptive, she should not contact him until he contacts her. That means that she shouldn’t call, email, or text him. She shouldn’t engage him on social networks. She shouldn’t send him gifts or letters.

She should also avoid having friends intercede for her. Having a friend contact Brian would be the same thing as Traci contacting him herself and there is always the possibility that the friend could (deliberately or not) miscommunicate the message.

Instead, Traci should wait for Brian to contact her. He will, eventually, if only to get his stuff that she has back. This is Traci’s opportunity to strike.

She should keep things light. She shouldn’t go overboard and tell him how much she’s missed him or how sorry she is about the situation.

Instead, she should bring up some of the positive experiences they’ve shared. If that goes over well, she can talk about the little things that she’s missed such as his smile or the way he always holds the umbrella when it rains. Then, she should suggest they meet for a not-date date such as a short get together at a coffee shop.

If he is agreeable to coffee, they can discuss more weighty matters. She can apologize again at that point and recommit to not making the same error again. At that point, she can say that she misses having him in her life and would like to get back together.

Traci has let Brian blow off any steam he had about the incident. She has also given him both time and reasons to want her back. At that point, she doesn’t have to do much work to get guy back.

Did your boyfriend break up with you? This is a rough time in your life. You are probably hurting and want to know what caused your boyfriend break up.

First of all, while you can use this time to look at yourself and where you are in your life, don’t do too much introspection. The truth behind why your boyfriend break up with you is that he had his own issues. You know what they say, “it’s not you, it’s me.”

You can spend time trying to get your ex back. If you are going to go down this route, you need to know the following things:

• Don’t pester your ex – when your boyfriend break up with you, it meant that you have more limited access to him. So don’t text him multiple times a day or call him a lot.
• It’s okay to flirt with other guys in his presence. It may even make him want you back more.
• When you do get back together for a “trial date” be cheerful and friendly but don’t pressure him for more than he can handle.

But, if you have a feeling in your gut that the relationship is over when your boyfriend break up with you, then you need to start moving on.

One of the first things you can do after your boyfriend break up is to sit down and write a long letter to him pouring out your heart. You can talk about the good times and bad. You can tell him what a jerk he is and call him all sorts of names. But, don’t mail the letter! Instead, take a candle out and burn it. This is one of the best ways to get closure after a boyfriend break up.

The next thing you need to do is do a property exchange. Give him back the t-shirt that you love to sleep in. Get the econ textbook you lent him. If there are things like toothbrushes that are too trivial to exchange, throw them away. Don’t have anything around that reminds you of him. If you have gifts that he gave you, box them up for the time being. If you have any money issues to resolve like debts to the other or a joint checking account, get them sorted out.

After you have completed the property exchange, agree that you won’t have any communication for 30 days. This may be hard if you are used to seeing each other on a daily basis, but after a boyfriend break up it is necessary to give yourself some space and distance.

It hurts a lot when a boyfriend break up with you. But it isn’t the end of your life. You can even look at it as a good thing because it means that you are now free to meet your true soul mate.

Of course, you shouldn’t jump to the conclusion that just because you’ve gone through a boyfriend break up that all of the doors are firmly shut. If you think you have a shot of winning him back and that’s something you want, you should by all means take the opportunity to do so.

True love can even survive a boyfriend break up.