Tag-Archive for ◊ difference ◊

Author: Cliff Colins
• Friday, March 13th, 2009

How can you get ex girlfriend back from an abusive situation? How ever it needs to happen, you need to make sure that she gets out of it. It can be heartbreaking to know that your ex girlfriend, the one that you love, is not only with the wrong person, but in an abusive situation. That is something that no person deserves. Whether you are able to get ex girlfriend back or just get her out of it, you need to help.

You need to make a decision. Is it more important to get ex girlfriend back or to save her from this horrible nightmare that she may be in. What is going to make the most difference is if she sees it as you looking out for her best interest rather than yours. You will also have to look closely at your motivation so that you don’t just use this as an attempt to further your own interest. Whatever you decide, though, if you see the good that needs to be done, do it. You also need to realize that she may not want to be rescued and have to accept there is nothing that you can do.

Being the hero can go a long way in her eyes if you save her from not just an unhappy situation, but a potentially life threatening one. It is well known that once someone has been abused that it is easy for them to fall back into it. If she knows that you are a safe one that she can turn to then she will find it harder to turn away. You have to first let her know that you are a safe place.

Hopefully she will have known that you are able to take good care of her. If you didn’t do that good of a job, let her know that you have changed (you better have seriously changed, though). Let her know that she can depend on you and that you will listen. That may be the hardest part but it will go a long way. It is a good thing to learn how to do anyway. Also make sure that she knows she deserves better. An abuser will thrive on making the abused feel small and that they deserve what they are getting. Her self esteem may be severely hurt. Make her know that she is special. Get ex girlfriend back from that bad place because she truly deserves better.

Your true motivation for saving her from the abusive situation will help make it easy to get ex girlfriend back. If you are trying to make it obvious that your main priority is to get ex girlfriend back then you may do something that compromises her safety. If the abuser gets a idea that someone is trying to take her away and that she might be contemplating it then the situation might get worse. Abusers are generally very jealous and have a great need to control. When they feel that their control might be lessening up they will try to correct it using whatever means they feel is necessary. What ever you do trying to get ex girlfriend back, you need to think of their safety first.

If you see that your ex ex girlfriend is in trouble, do something about it. It is too easy to turn away from someone in need. It can get messy in your own life but there is much good that can come from it. If you succeed, not only will you get ex girlfriend back, but you may have saved a life.

Author: Cliff Colins
• Sunday, January 04th, 2009

How To Stop My Divorce

First, if you were the one who made the decision to end the marriage and now you wonder, how can I stop my divorce? you should realize that you’re in a much better position than most people trying to save their relationships.  You’ll need to swallow your pride and go to your spouse with an apology.  Explain that you acted hastily and that now you regret it.  Explain that you no longer want the divorce, and maybe even that you never wanted it but you spoke out of anger and you were wrong.

This might seem a difficult step, but it’s necessary.  Since you were the one to bring up the issue of divorce, your spouse might have started seriously considering and thinking that it’s a good idea, too.  When you want to know, “How to stop my divorce,” you need to discover what your spouse thinks of the idea and make it clear that you were wrong.  Unless they’ve had a lot of time and reason to decide that you were right and divorce is the best step, you can probably save the marriage just by admitting you made a mistake.

If you’re wondering, “How can I stop my divorce when I didn’t want it in the first place,” then you have your work cut out for you.  You can explain, without judgment or accusations, that you think the marriage is worth saving and that you don’t want a divorce.  Chances are that you’ve done this, more than once.  But the way you say it can make a difference.

It’s important for you to be very mature and calm about it.  That’s not always easy to do.  Divorce is an emotional and painful thing.  But it’s one thing to cry while explaining that you want to stay married, and entirely another to yell or dissolve into hysterics.  If you scream, accuse or point fingers at your spouse, you’re giving him or her even more reason to want to get away from you. If you want to learn ‘how to stop my divorce’ you have to let go of the anger and resentment you feel toward your spouse for ever suggesting it in the first place.

You also have to be willing to work on your problems. You must agree that the relationship can’t go back to the way it was, but must change for the better.  Suggest marital counseling.  Explain, “I want to stop my divorce,” but make it clear you know your spouse was unhappy with the way things were, and you’re ready to make them better.