Traci wanted to get guy back. She wasn’t in a good position to do so however. She had accused her ex, Cory, of flirting with her best friend. Traci knew that Cory was just being friendly, but she was having a bad day and she took it out on Cory.
Now Traci is contrite and she wants to get guy back. Unfortunately, the guy doesn’t want to be gotten back. He wants nothing further to do with Traci. What’s a girl to do?
First of all, Traci needs to apologize. This needs to be a sincere apology. If he doesn’t want to listen to her, she should write a note.
There are three components to a genuine apology. First of all, there is a recognition that what she did was wrong. Then, there is an introspection as to why she did it. Finally, there is a commitment to not do it again.
For instance, Traci needs to say “Brian, I was wrong to accuse you of flirting with Sandy. I was feeling insecure for a number of reasons that had nothing to do with you and I snapped. I realize that I hurt you badly and I’m sorry. In the future, I will be careful not to lash out at you when I’m feeling crummy about myself.”
Next, she needs to sit back and allow Brian to process what she’s said. This may just take a few minutes or it could take days. If he’s not initially receptive, she should not contact him until he contacts her. That means that she shouldn’t call, email, or text him. She shouldn’t engage him on social networks. She shouldn’t send him gifts or letters.
She should also avoid having friends intercede for her. Having a friend contact Brian would be the same thing as Traci contacting him herself and there is always the possibility that the friend could (deliberately or not) miscommunicate the message.
Instead, Traci should wait for Brian to contact her. He will, eventually, if only to get his stuff that she has back. This is Traci’s opportunity to strike.
She should keep things light. She shouldn’t go overboard and tell him how much she’s missed him or how sorry she is about the situation.
Instead, she should bring up some of the positive experiences they’ve shared. If that goes over well, she can talk about the little things that she’s missed such as his smile or the way he always holds the umbrella when it rains. Then, she should suggest they meet for a not-date date such as a short get together at a coffee shop.
If he is agreeable to coffee, they can discuss more weighty matters. She can apologize again at that point and recommit to not making the same error again. At that point, she can say that she misses having him in her life and would like to get back together.
Traci has let Brian blow off any steam he had about the incident. She has also given him both time and reasons to want her back. At that point, she doesn’t have to do much work to get guy back.
