Tag-Archive for ◊ abuser ◊

Author: Cliff Colins
• Friday, March 13th, 2009

How can you get ex girlfriend back from an abusive situation? How ever it needs to happen, you need to make sure that she gets out of it. It can be heartbreaking to know that your ex girlfriend, the one that you love, is not only with the wrong person, but in an abusive situation. That is something that no person deserves. Whether you are able to get ex girlfriend back or just get her out of it, you need to help.

You need to make a decision. Is it more important to get ex girlfriend back or to save her from this horrible nightmare that she may be in. What is going to make the most difference is if she sees it as you looking out for her best interest rather than yours. You will also have to look closely at your motivation so that you don’t just use this as an attempt to further your own interest. Whatever you decide, though, if you see the good that needs to be done, do it. You also need to realize that she may not want to be rescued and have to accept there is nothing that you can do.

Being the hero can go a long way in her eyes if you save her from not just an unhappy situation, but a potentially life threatening one. It is well known that once someone has been abused that it is easy for them to fall back into it. If she knows that you are a safe one that she can turn to then she will find it harder to turn away. You have to first let her know that you are a safe place.

Hopefully she will have known that you are able to take good care of her. If you didn’t do that good of a job, let her know that you have changed (you better have seriously changed, though). Let her know that she can depend on you and that you will listen. That may be the hardest part but it will go a long way. It is a good thing to learn how to do anyway. Also make sure that she knows she deserves better. An abuser will thrive on making the abused feel small and that they deserve what they are getting. Her self esteem may be severely hurt. Make her know that she is special. Get ex girlfriend back from that bad place because she truly deserves better.

Your true motivation for saving her from the abusive situation will help make it easy to get ex girlfriend back. If you are trying to make it obvious that your main priority is to get ex girlfriend back then you may do something that compromises her safety. If the abuser gets a idea that someone is trying to take her away and that she might be contemplating it then the situation might get worse. Abusers are generally very jealous and have a great need to control. When they feel that their control might be lessening up they will try to correct it using whatever means they feel is necessary. What ever you do trying to get ex girlfriend back, you need to think of their safety first.

If you see that your ex ex girlfriend is in trouble, do something about it. It is too easy to turn away from someone in need. It can get messy in your own life but there is much good that can come from it. If you succeed, not only will you get ex girlfriend back, but you may have saved a life.

Author: Cliff Colins
• Monday, February 09th, 2009

Relationships are supposed to be able to bring out the best in us but many times it is the root for needing self help advice. Most self esteem issues are directly tied to relationships we are in. It doesn’t matter if you are dating or in a marriage or just in love, it can either make us feel better or worse about ourselves. We strive to find the one who will love us and make us feel like we are on top of the world, unfortunately that doesn’t always happen.

One thing that many will try to do is find out if the reason for your difficulties in your relationships is because of the problems between the two of you or is it because of problems that originated early on in either your life or the other persons life. It can be exhausting trying to find the original root of the matter but one thing is obvious, you have problems now.

The best thing to do is to try and fix the relationship that you are in now so that you and your spouse or partner can help overcome each other challenges. You may be interested in reading self help books and utilize different self help techniques. If your relationship is strong, though, there will be no more need to concentrate on healing yourself because you will have a partner to help you overcome. First, though, you need to work on building the relationship. Seek out some good marriage counselors or others who can give good relationship advice.

One thing that is going to help is to never allow yourself to be criticized, or at least don’t internalize it. Also make sure you don’t criticize the one you love. There is no such thing as constructive criticism. There is nothing constructive about it. All it does is make one feel less powerful than the other and it is used to manipulate much in the same way an abuser does. A relationship is not a power struggle and it is not a war. Quit treating it like that and there won’t be any fights to win or lose.

There are some more things that you can do to help your relationship. Where you are separated by beliefs, try talking it out and instead of pointing out where each other is wrong or where their weaknesses are try to find common ground. Take time to discuss what each other’s roles are in the relationship. Also discuss what you expect of the other. Let your partner know what hurts but also let them know what it is you want or need them to do and try to offer the same to them.

Whether you are dating or involved in a marriage there are many things that you can do to help better the situation. Once the two of you have worked to repair the relationship and put away any talks of divorce, separation, or just breaking up, the two of you can work together to make each other better people. Your relationship will help you help yourself image and will help you overcome all those things that hold you back.