Archive for ◊ March, 2009 ◊

Author: Cliff Colins
• Friday, March 13th, 2009

If you are finding yourself saying, “I still love my ex” then you have to figure out what you want to happen next. It is only natural for there to be some residual love hanging around. After all, the two of you shared some special times together and were able to get close. The closeness and love is not easily broken completely. Does the love that is still there mean that you want to get back the one you love? When you say, “I still love my ex” what does that mean?

When someone says “I still love my ex” it is a really good sign because, first of all, it means that there was some love there to begin with. That love was a gift that isn’t easily taken away. There will still be a fondness there and there will be a lot to remember from the marriage or relationship. Much of it will be good memories. Just because there is love still lingering doesn’t mean that you are bound to get back together or that it should even happen. You do need to be asking yourself, “I still love my ex, but do I want my ex back?” If you look at it closely and with a chance to step back and ponder it, you will be more able to see if the two of you are meant to be together.

If you have been able to figure out that your statement, “I still love my ex” is due to just a remaining fondness then don’t feel any need to push it in one direction or another. Just go with the flow. What will happen is that the two of you will either drift away or you will remain friends for a long time. That could be something special on it’s own and something few have. Good friends are hard to find.

If, by saying, “I still love my ex”, you mean that you want to get back together with them then you have to be willing to do some work. You need to first see if the other person has an interest in getting back together with you. This will happen naturally because, like with the above advice, it will happen naturally. Just don’t push it one way or the other and you will tell if the feeling is mutual. When the two of you decide that you want to try again, be ready to work.

If this was a marriage that failed, seek marriage counseling. No matter what kind of relationship it was, though, seek relationship advice from someone trained to do so who can help the two of you build back stronger what had fallen apart. Obviously there were mistakes made and the two of you were incapable of handling it on your own. If you had been getting counseling before, find someone different to get it from. The two of you will need a fresh start and someone that will help the two of you make the relationship stronger.

If you find yourself saying “Help! I still love my ex!” there isn’t any need to panic. Just let things take their course naturally at first and then seek help to get it on the right path. The momentum you two make on your own will make the guidance easier. Before you know it, you won’t be saying, “I love my ex,”  but you will be saying “I’m in love!”

Author: Cliff Colins
• Friday, March 13th, 2009

How can you get ex girlfriend back from an abusive situation? How ever it needs to happen, you need to make sure that she gets out of it. It can be heartbreaking to know that your ex girlfriend, the one that you love, is not only with the wrong person, but in an abusive situation. That is something that no person deserves. Whether you are able to get ex girlfriend back or just get her out of it, you need to help.

You need to make a decision. Is it more important to get ex girlfriend back or to save her from this horrible nightmare that she may be in. What is going to make the most difference is if she sees it as you looking out for her best interest rather than yours. You will also have to look closely at your motivation so that you don’t just use this as an attempt to further your own interest. Whatever you decide, though, if you see the good that needs to be done, do it. You also need to realize that she may not want to be rescued and have to accept there is nothing that you can do.

Being the hero can go a long way in her eyes if you save her from not just an unhappy situation, but a potentially life threatening one. It is well known that once someone has been abused that it is easy for them to fall back into it. If she knows that you are a safe one that she can turn to then she will find it harder to turn away. You have to first let her know that you are a safe place.

Hopefully she will have known that you are able to take good care of her. If you didn’t do that good of a job, let her know that you have changed (you better have seriously changed, though). Let her know that she can depend on you and that you will listen. That may be the hardest part but it will go a long way. It is a good thing to learn how to do anyway. Also make sure that she knows she deserves better. An abuser will thrive on making the abused feel small and that they deserve what they are getting. Her self esteem may be severely hurt. Make her know that she is special. Get ex girlfriend back from that bad place because she truly deserves better.

Your true motivation for saving her from the abusive situation will help make it easy to get ex girlfriend back. If you are trying to make it obvious that your main priority is to get ex girlfriend back then you may do something that compromises her safety. If the abuser gets a idea that someone is trying to take her away and that she might be contemplating it then the situation might get worse. Abusers are generally very jealous and have a great need to control. When they feel that their control might be lessening up they will try to correct it using whatever means they feel is necessary. What ever you do trying to get ex girlfriend back, you need to think of their safety first.

If you see that your ex ex girlfriend is in trouble, do something about it. It is too easy to turn away from someone in need. It can get messy in your own life but there is much good that can come from it. If you succeed, not only will you get ex girlfriend back, but you may have saved a life.