Do you want to win love back? The key is allowing your ex to have a little bit of time to figure out what they want from the relationship. Tim and Rhonda learned this from Tim’s friend Joe.

Rhonda stormed out of Tim’s apartment one day saying she never wanted to see him again. Tim was stunned. All he could think about was how to win love back.

He called his buddy Joe and asked whether he should send flowers or candy.

“Neither,” Joe said. “And don’t call, email, or text her either.”

Tim was stunned by this advice. He wanted to win love back right away before Rhonda had a chance to “look around” and find someone better.

But Joe told Tim that giving Rhonda the space to “look around” was just what she needed. There was a small chance that she would go forever, but the probability was that she would settle down and come back to him. She must come to the conclusion that their relationship was special on her own terms.

Further, Joe advised, it would be bad if Tim looked too desperate. This gave Rhonda the upper hand in many ways. It would lead to further grand gestures in the future. If he wanted to get the relationship back on track, Tim needed to give Rhonda space.

Tim and Rhonda both had a lot invested in the relationship. They had been together 18 months and had even talked about marriage. This was why it was such a blow to Tim when Rhonda walked out.

But Tim took Joe’s advice, as painful as it was, and waited for Rhonda to call. It took her four days, but she finally contacted him.

The first thing she wanted to know was “why didn’t you call me?” He told her “I was waiting for you to call. I knew you needed space.”

He was right, and she knew it. She actually appreciated the fact that he hadn’t called. She knew that he had found a way to win love back.

As they talked about hwere their relationship had been and how to get it back on track, they discovered that one of the problems was that they had been crowding one another. The thought of getting married had been suffocating.

So, they decided to back off. They would still see each other exclusively, but they would make more time for friends and solo activities. They wouldn’t talk about marriage again for six months.

Tim restrained himself from pursuing Rhonda when she needed space. This allowed her to reevaluate her relationship with him on her own terms.

She initially thought that he would call her all the time. She was actually surprised that he didn’t. But, because he refrained from contacting her, she was able to see what her life was like without him in it. And, it wasn’t as pleasant as she had imagined it would be.

So, if you’re determined to win love back, keep in mind that sometime what is needed is a little space.

Traci wanted to get guy back. She wasn’t in a good position to do so however. She had accused her ex, Cory, of flirting with her best friend. Traci knew that Cory was just being friendly, but she was having a bad day and she took it out on Cory.

Now Traci is contrite and she wants to get guy back. Unfortunately, the guy doesn’t want to be gotten back. He wants nothing further to do with Traci. What’s a girl to do?

First of all, Traci needs to apologize. This needs to be a sincere apology. If he doesn’t want to listen to her, she should write a note.

There are three components to a genuine apology. First of all, there is a recognition that what she did was wrong. Then, there is an introspection as to why she did it. Finally, there is a commitment to not do it again.

For instance, Traci needs to say “Brian, I was wrong to accuse you of flirting with Sandy. I was feeling insecure for a number of reasons that had nothing to do with you and I snapped. I realize that I hurt you badly and I’m sorry. In the future, I will be careful not to lash out at you when I’m feeling crummy about myself.”

Next, she needs to sit back and allow Brian to process what she’s said. This may just take a few minutes or it could take days. If he’s not initially receptive, she should not contact him until he contacts her. That means that she shouldn’t call, email, or text him. She shouldn’t engage him on social networks. She shouldn’t send him gifts or letters.

She should also avoid having friends intercede for her. Having a friend contact Brian would be the same thing as Traci contacting him herself and there is always the possibility that the friend could (deliberately or not) miscommunicate the message.

Instead, Traci should wait for Brian to contact her. He will, eventually, if only to get his stuff that she has back. This is Traci’s opportunity to strike.

She should keep things light. She shouldn’t go overboard and tell him how much she’s missed him or how sorry she is about the situation.

Instead, she should bring up some of the positive experiences they’ve shared. If that goes over well, she can talk about the little things that she’s missed such as his smile or the way he always holds the umbrella when it rains. Then, she should suggest they meet for a not-date date such as a short get together at a coffee shop.

If he is agreeable to coffee, they can discuss more weighty matters. She can apologize again at that point and recommit to not making the same error again. At that point, she can say that she misses having him in her life and would like to get back together.

Traci has let Brian blow off any steam he had about the incident. She has also given him both time and reasons to want her back. At that point, she doesn’t have to do much work to get guy back.